I wrote an article for The Toast on the phonological constraints that allow you to identify Bandicoot Cumbersnatch, Bendandsnap Candycrush, and even Wimbledon Tennismatch as synonyms for the same long-faced British actor, by analyzing all of the names from the Benedict Cumberbatch name generator.
You should go read it there first to see what the constraints are and how I got them, and then come back here for a bonus in-depth investigation into how we can model them using constraint rankings loosely inspired by Harmonic Grammar (don’t worry if you don’t know what that is).
Can someone poke me gently tomorrow/over the weekend so that I keep plugging my way on my post about the Doctor-companion dynamic in 1963 vs. 2013, the New Who conception of the Doctor as Lonely God/good wizard, and how that all ties into Gallifrey’s un-falling being a good thing?
“No one is born hating another person because of the colour of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”—Nelson Mandela (via karimbenzemaa)
What if the Christmas episode is basically just Clara and The Doctor being cutie pies and doing loads of Christmassy things like swapping gifts and making the dinner together. And instead of like some crazy epic death scene, The Doctor just like fucking dies after a Christmas tree falls on him or some shit because let’s be honest, that’s not even that far fetched when it comes to Eleven.
Series 8 scenario #1: Twelve and Clara meet one of the Doctor’s past companions. Twelve tries to imply that he recently regenerated under heroic circumstances while Clara’s standing behind his back shaking her head and mouthing, "No."
Series 8 scenario #2: Twelve and Clara meet Mickey and Martha. Twelve has no compunction telling Mickey he got killed by a Christmas tree and Mickey winces sympathetically and only ribs the Doctor a little while Clara and Martha are like “what even.”
like imagine if you’d never seen a dog and you saw a saint bernard and you were like, what’s that and then someone was like, that’s a dog. and then you saw a chihuahua and you were like ok what’s that and they were like, that’s a dog. wouldn’t you feel lied to? wouldn’t you sense that something was amiss
The essay, which is being touted as a poignant look at the “terrible” decision-making processes of the poor, is the product of writer Linda Walther Tirado’s personal experience with poverty. Linda, a married mother of two, speaks of having to live in seedy motels, where there are roaches that she stabs with toothpicks. She can’t cook for her family because she lacks a kitchen, and she’s afraid of attracting more roaches, so they survive on junk food in said seedy motel.
Oh, and not only does Linda say she’s living in seedy motels and stabbing roaches, but she’s also working two jobs, taking a full load of college courses, and is banished to a life as a cook in the “back of the house” at a restaurant, as she is deemed too unsightly as a waitress — or apparently a legal secretary — due to an unfortunate set of teeth. She’s in desperate need of dental work, and her body is full of infection, but she can’t afford to spend the money on medical or dental care. It’s a tragic, tragic story.
She’s married to a Marine, has met President Obama while interning for a politician (who obviously wasn’t disgusted by those rotten teeth), and has plenty of time to visit Las Vegas on vacation. And blog about her privileged life on Wordpress.
What Linda is doing here is infuriating. There are people donating to her that don’t realize she’s full of shit. People who have good intentions and big hearts and are attempting to make a difference in the life of a person who, by the sound of it, is living in some pretty dire surroundings. But folks, these are made-up dire surroundings. Stop giving her money.
You’re not moving this person out of seedy quarters by donating money that you earmarked to help a person in need. You’re financing a book written on a bunch of fictional musings about what Linda Walther Tirado thinks it would be like to be poor. It’s basically poverty fan-fiction, by way of a person who has three years of freelance writing on their LinkedIn profile.
Please signal boost this offensive bullshit, especially since she’s been publicly called out and doesn’t give a DAMN about lying and deluding people into thinking that she is poor to make almost $100,000 now.
(Image description: 4 tweets
1: dan @capndannn: “@KillerMartinis they asked to give you money because they thought you were living in motels and unable to cook broccoli!”
2: KillerMartinis @KillerMartinis: “@capndannn then they willfully misread my essay, I can’t help that. I wish it weren’t so, because I would rather be having a conversation”
3: dan @capndannn: “@KillerMartinis if you wrote an essay about poor people who aren’t you, you would have received $0 in donations, don’t be naive”
4: KillerMartinis @KillerMartinis: “@capndannn but now I have this positive thing to go do, so I’m going to do that. Thank you for explaining part of the problem to me.”)
“A few years ago when Billie Piper was playing Rose, I was very worried because the next week’s episode was called something like The Day Rose Died. I can’t remember exactly what it was called. Well, my children were in love with Rose as a companion, and I was worried about her. So I sent an e-mail off to Russell T Davies, who of course had grown up on the classic Doctor Who series, and I said “Could you just reassure me that Rose does not, in fact, die because my children shouldn’t watch it if that happens,” and he sent an e-mail back to me saying, “You killed Adric. What do you care?”—Peter Davison (via youre-standing-on-my-scarf)
HAVE YOU won NaNoWriMo? Got yourself a complete novel that you want to try to take places but aren’t sure where to start with editing it? Written 50k words but haven’t finished and having trouble deciding how to proceed?
YOU HAVE COME TO THE RIGHT BLOG. (Or stumbled across the right reblog, I guess.) I am an experienced professional editor – I have edited and consulted on several novels that have gone on to be published, the most recent of which was published by Walker in October and has been signed for a sequel. I also have heaps of experience copy-editing and proofreading, and superb English language skills. My primary area of experience is children’s and young adult fiction but I can work on anything!
I am offering three discounted services, for the month of December only, for people with NaNo novels they want looked at.
FULL MANUSCRIPT APPRAISAL £300 for any manuscript up to 70,000 words long and an additional £5 per 1,000 words thereafter. (Usually £400.) I will read over your entire manuscript and provide you with a detailed multi-page report, giving honest and constructive advice on things like plot, characterisation, structure, etc. I will never be rude or discouraging in my feedback but I will not be dishonest; I will give constructive criticism and feedback on what works and what doesn’t, and suggestions for changes to make to improve your story.
FIRST CHAPTER APPRAISAL £50. (Usually £75.) This can be the most important part of trying to sell a book, both to a publisher and to any prospective readers, and one can tell a lot about a novel from the opening. Given the first chapter, or up to 5,000 words, of your novel, I will give you a detailed report with the same kind of feedback and advice you’d get in a full appraisal.
COPY EDITING £250 for any complete manuscript up to 70,000 words long and an additional £5 per 1,000 words thereafter. (Usually £7 per 1,000 words.) I will fix any punctuation, spelling and grammatical errors, and if necessary make suggestions for improvement of clarity or consistency in terms of word choice and sentence structure. I will provide you with both a final corrected copy of your document and a copy with changes tracked, so that you can see what I have edited and reject any changes you might disagree with.
I will be cutting off this offer at the end of December, so that I can aim to have everything done by the end of January. In the event that I get too many requests (although I don’t anticipate this!) I may cut it off sooner.
ALSO PLEASE NOTE: copy editing at my usual rate (£7 per 1,000 words) is still available for anything other than NaNo novels – articles, papers, essays, dissertations, etc. etc. I am much more reliable than a Word spellcheck!
If you are interested please email me at email@example.com with the kind of service you want as the title of the email. Thank you!
I’m a couple of days behind at this point thanks to weather-related headaches. Not really pushing to catch up because I’m hoping if I dawdle long enough I won’t have to make the “rewatch the Marco Polo recon or wait for confirmation that it’s been restored” decision.